torch songs

Last week's This American Life episode was everything I've ever wanted out of TAL. I was supposed to pack up my belongings (moving sucks), but I just lay in bed totally captivated by stories of break-ups.

In true TAL fashion, the tales were all of the extreme, of the obscure, but relatable accounts of breaking up.

The episode opens with Sarah's explanation of how excruciating, yet addictive it can be to wallow in break-up melancholy. Her boyfriend broke up with her. They shared an (at first ironic, but then legit) love of Phil Colins. Sarah examines the beauty of the break-up song (and how wonderful they are for shameless brooding), writes her own, and even consults Phil Colins himself!

I was kind of surprised and comforted to hear another person's detailed admission of almost enjoying the pain and anguish that comes with a break up only because it gives you an excuse to completely strip down all dignity and "find meaning in songs you hear at the grocery store." I love listening to sad songs when I'm sad. That's not to say that I love being sad. Well maybe I do. I just love the way sappy songs allow you shamelessly bask in the pathetic cloud of self pity.

Okay, Sarah says it way better:

There's something so satisfying about listening to sad songs. They're like how you would actually be spending your day, if you were allowed to just break down and sob and grab ahold of everyone you've ever met.

They make you feel less alone with their crazy thoughts. They don't judge you. In fact, they understand you. A break up song won't ever suggest you start online dating, or that you're better off without them. They tell you that you're worse without them, whichis exactly what you want to hear because that's how you feel.

I didn't want to be cheered up. I didn't want to bounce back. I didn't want to meet someone new. I wanted to wallow. Big time. Deeply. And with the least amount of perspective possible. And the only way to do that was by turning off my phone, and turning up the sad sad music.

And then she plays us "I don't want to get over you" by The Magnetic Fields (one of my favorites, too).

It's been like, I don't even know...three(ish?) years since my last break-up/relationship. But I still remember the pain when I hear songs I used to listen to during that time.

With that, here's my list of all time favorite break-up / sappy songs. No order.

Don't know why - Kostars (listen)
You don't miss your water - The Byrds (listen)
Right about now - Ron Sexsmith (listen)
Good things - Sleater Kinney (listen)
Can't seem to make you mine - The Seeds (listen)
Remember (walking in the sand) - Shangri Las (listen)
Perfect day - Lou Reed (listen)
Comfort me - Carla Thomas (listen)
Heart like a Wheel - Kate & Anna McGarrigle (listen)
Within your reach - Replacements (listen)
Crying all by myself - William Bell (listen)
Up the junction - Squeeze (listen)
Don't thing twice, it's alright - Bob Dylan (listen)
Tonight - Sybille Baier (listen)
Lord kill the pain - Red House Painters (listen)
Metal heart - Cat Power (listen)
Sometimes I still feel the bruise - Trembling Blue Stars (listen)
I fall to pieces - Patsy Cline (listen)
Hey that's no way to say goodbye - Leonard Cohen (listen)
Think for yourself - The Beatles (listen)
Some good advice - Bill Fay (listen)
I'm not saying - Nico (listen)
You can't have me - Big Star (listen)
Whenever you're ready - Zombies (listen)
I don't really love you anymore - Magnetic Fields (listen)
Wild world - Cat Stevens (listen)
These things take time - The Smiths (listen)
Set me free - The Kinks (listen)
You're no good - ESG (listen)
Play with fire - Rolling Stones (listen)
You gotta move - Heatmiser (listen)
Prayer to god - Shellac (listen)
Drift - Ginger Envelope (listen)
I wanna be adored - Stone Roses (listen)
Nothing but a heartache - The Flirtations (listen)
Divorce song - Liz Phair (listen)
This mess we're in - Thom Yorke & PJ Harvey (listen)
Oh well, okay - Elliott Smith (listen)
You go to my head - Billie Holiday (listen)
Quicksand - Dinosaur Jr. (listen)
Something about what happens when we talk - Lucinda Williams (listen)
You broke my heart - Lavender Diamond (listen)
Sunday girl - Blondie (listen)
Tiger trap - Beat Happening (listen)
Lost cause - Beck (listen)
The bright new year - Bert Jansch (listen)
Thirteen - Big Star (listen)
Landlocked blues - Bright Eyes & Emmylou Harris (listen)
Hope - Descendents (listen)
Reservations - Wilco (listen)
About today - The National (listen)
Life's a gas - T. Rex (listen)
Sad and beautiful world - Sparklehorse (listen)
Mourning rain - Sleepy Jackson (listen)
Don't look back in anger - Oasis (listen)

I probably left some out but I could go on for days...

If you have any suggestions let me know - I'm always up for a brooding sesh.

( LISTEN TO THE THIS AMERICAN LIFE EPISODE ! ! ! ! )